**Hello,
i rockk .
11/1/09
 Currently, feelings as shitty as animal poop . just vomitted all my stomach's content just now. my throat hurts like hell now. my mood is so shitty now. i feel so upset with the world. theres silat just now. theres that stupid NE Champ camp this coming friday. Damnn,im gonna miss 3 whole silat trainings. Theres no way im gonna do ganda tembong with Syafiqah . Great . Im losing everything that i love. Thanks Miss Hesley . See ? Now im blaming Miss Hesley. See im so useless.Its just that now im so upset tau. Everyone is letting me down. Din, Daddy,Sister.. Aishh,i want someone to talk to. But it seems as though i got nobody else in this world. Everybody seems so preoccupiedd to care. I dont blame them. Who am i anyway ? I keep crying every night,cause i feel so alone in this world. Nothing seems right anymore. Im so disappointed . What is wrong with me ? Failure ought to be my middle name . My head is throbbing so hard now i cant think. My throat hurts,and i cringe looking at my arm. Its filled with bruises. My leg too. All those blue-blacks.. No matter how hard i try,no matter how many bruises i have,im never gonna be good enough right ? No,im never gonna be good enough . Im such a failure. I ought to brace myself for more fuck-ups . I feel like hiding under the covers,away from family,society, I wanna hide away from th world. Im a nobody anyway . Nobody would care. " Are you there God ? Its me,Maizurah. Will you please help me to be better in everything that i do ? Will you please cut down on the number of hard situations you're giving me lately ? Im drowning under the pressure. Please and Thank you ." |
I'm single, but never available. I don't smoke, Neither do i drink. I'm just the party cracker. I make things hot .  |